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Alarming loneliness

The silence overwhelms as the scheduled program falls silent, sleep dictated by timer- still elusive, rebellious,

I am never bored in exhaustion, not really. My thoughts keep me company in the dead of the night, often taunting, tormenting,

The dog abandons her fruitless effort to cajole me into a ball of comfort and cuddle. Her restless paws, and exaggerated sighs betray her frustration. Her own space beckons.

The bed grows to manage tangled legs, and knotted thoughts chasing the one relevant demand- go to sleep.

Eyes closed in protest, breaths in four, boxed and closing in…. I wonder if one more pillow would reinforce my wall. What once was comfort, and security, has become the foundation of my prison, a padded reminder that I am not alone.

I have my thoughts for companions, voices on mute yet they still holler, disgusted with my retreat.

Sleep continues to be elusive, as comfort fades to a stone wall defied by logic. Awake and hunkered down for a long dark night, I shrug into a blanket of loneliness, and drift over the line of consciousness, incessant bleating, chiding me to stay awake.

@jenkress

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It has been awhile…

Silence has led to a slow burn lesson on so many levels. Surprisingly, I woke a few nights with words spilling out of my mind. It has been a very long time since that has happened. Here is one, of two, unpolished for a reason. Imperfect speaks volumes…

Choose me

Not because you’re bored, or

because I fit you like a

worn pair of sneakers…

Choose me because “We” make

the adventures of a lifetime possible

– a choice that excites-

hearts galloping, minds racing, while

settling at the same time,

peacefully.

When cotton candy skies and

morning dew surrender to the

blistering phoenix of high noon; alone, I

hover, to contemplate the fall to dusky

solitude and silent shadow.

Rather, I choose you.

@jenkress

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⭐️🍀Lá Fhéile Pádraig sona daoibh. 🍀⭐️

Famine Statues of Dublin Ireland ©️ Ron Cogswell​
The Famine Statues, Dublin

Dublin

Wandering the docklands of the river Liffey,

She searches for familiar faces in strangers.

Sunrise burns through fog, a hovering blanket

turned back to rustle the early morning calm.

Dubliners and gadabouts do mingle lazily.

She darts and twirls in her feeble quest.

Then a hushed whisper, a phantom voice calling;

she spins, eyes straining for a familiar face. But alas,

in haste she dizzily trips against the steely guardrail.

The pain of her bruises drips tears from her lashes.

A gusting wind tosses her curls, marring her view.

Where, oh where can they be? A bump and a stumble,

a murmured utterance ‘Oh tá bron orm, tá bron orm!’.

She is sad.

Now she stoops to retrieve her gift package.

Pretty and wrapped in glorious green ribbon.

But passersby indifference gleams upon their shoes

a myriad of shapes and colours reflecting sunlight.

She lies there sobbing, her forlorn face in tears.

More bumps and knocks amid the bustle.

This time she is on her knees.

Worse still her gift is jostled and knocked for six

by a stranger’s fleeting steel toe boot.

All scuffed and torn, her precious benefaction

finds restful sanctuary at the well worn bare feet

of bronze cast scrawny Famine statues.

Stark statuesque stares of her ancestors keening,

Agape and staring in mournful monologue,

pleading the age old history of Irish emigrants

Today, the muted cry of mercy still rings true.

Weariness takes hold as she winds her way through,

scattered downcast images of the past abide.

Each plodding step draws her closer

to the reason for her homecoming.

It’s in her blood.

And then, at last, the vision of angelic blue eyes

a child’s face framed by golden curls of fire,

the cuteness of pudgy porcelain white hands,

and the mirrored smile of her mother.

There they stand, her long awaited couplet,

Poet lover and their child.

She has come full circle.

Copyright © JenKress

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Establish balance and order in your life. If someone isn’t giving as much as you are then stop giving, or just remove that person from your day to day routine. Re-establish your boundaries and don’t sell yourself short!

I’m not saying you should harden your heart, but stop allowing people to suck the life out of you. Stop allowing them to ruin your joy and steal your peace. Even if it feels like you’ll lose as much or more, you’ll find that the loss really isn’t so big…. You weren’t receiving anything anyway! #dontbeadoormat #iseethemuddyprintsonyourheart

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Live review by Candice Phelan

Reedsy’s Candice Phelan reviews “Counting Breaths”

I will say that I welcome everyone’s thoughts and interpretations of my writing and also respect their opinions. That is the beauty of an author/reader relationship; the ability to connect on some level and share what that connection meant to you. See, everyone is different and life’s experiences help to make each person an individual. How boring would it be if we all had the same experiences, the same thoughts, the same opinions? While I can’t say that I wasn’t a little disappointed with the lack of ⭐️ offered by the reviewer #CandicePhelan I can say that I am grateful she chose to read and review my new book “Counting Breaths” and offer her thoughts. I can only hope that she does not just set the book aside, but revisits it with an open heart to embrace the beauty of hope, survival and faith of a new day dawning in love. Either way, there is beauty even in the ugly, and I am everlasting proof of that! #jolie-laide #bookreview #writersofinstagram #writingcommunity #poetrycommunity #poetsofinstagram #mentalhealthawareness @reedsy.discovery

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Embracing change…

The move from Chicago to Florida has been a lot different than I anticipated. The adjustment has been tricky because I have already been dealing with physical and mental health issues.

I have always set expectations low in anything I take on, so as not to end up disappointed…. and I have all too often fallen short of my goal. I am now learning, more than ever, to take life one day at a time and not focus on too much. I can’t change the things that are beyond my control, so I need to let go and quit trying to make things fit my own agenda.

I have officially stepped out of my comfort zone. I no longer have a safety net or a fall back plan. But I do have a chance at a fresh start and finally, the peace I have been longing for. In time, the rest will fall into place. Until then, I will enjoy this view and trust the process and remember it is okay to not feel okay.

#lifeinflorida#missingmyson#startingoverat50#positivemindset#itiswhatitis#innerpeace#askforhelp#mentalhealthawareness

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FREE!

💥📣Spread the word!💥📣

Kindle Free Book Promotion started October 14th and runs thru October 18th! Go to the link on the right side of the page and download into your kindle app!

Also, for those of you who prefer hands on reading, the paperback version of “Counting Breaths” has been released by #KDP and is available now! I will also be sending out signed copies, so Contact me if thats what you’d like and we can talk PayPal until I get my e-commerce site up and running! #freebooks #giveaway #kindlebooks #kindleselectunlimited #kindledirectpublishing #amazonreview #JenKress #CountingBreaths #writersofinstagram #writingcommunity #poetrycommunity #poetsofinstagram #mentalhealthawareness